L Space
by Goonlalagoon
Summary: Inspired by part of the description of L-space in Guards Guards. Set any time, except when the Librarian was human and Rincewind was around.


**Disclaimer: I'm not Terry Pratchett. I don't own Discworld, L-space, the Librarian, Unseen University etc. I think I might own Mr. Roberts though.**

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L-Space

Mr. Roberts shuffled along between the aisles, examining the dusty titles of his wares by the morning light filtering thorough the dusty windows. That there were potential customers outside, possibly desperately searching for The Book(1) didn't worry him. Any true seeker of The Book would come back every day for weeks, months even, waiting for the hour he felt it necessary to open.

True seekers were the only customers the book seller could trust. A true seeker could be trusted to treat The Books with their due respect, lift them down gently, stand for a moment feeling the power of the words, have a space for them ready on a shelf, and _have a bookmark with them in the shop._

Mr. Roberts was a firm believer in bookmarks. Anyone who carried a bookmark with them would have an automatic friend in the old man. Folding over pages was criminal Even_ worse_ was damaging a book. If bookmarks made you a friend of Mr. Roberts, damaging a book took you straight into enmity and out the other side.

A person who damaged books wasn't the embodiment of evil (2), they were original sin.

He was so engrossed in his search for The Book, he didn't notice when his slipper clad feet began to disturb dust between shelves not in his shop. He scarcely noticed the change in lighting as he crossed time streams from morning to night, and any notice he took was pleasure that no light would reach his precious books to damage them.

"Aha! Here we are!" The old man lifted down a thin book, knowing with some deep instinct that this was The Book. He held it lovingly, then turned to go back to the stairs to his room above the shop, make a cup of tea, sit in front of the fire and read.

He wasn't in his shop.

* * *

(1)Not _a _book, but _the_ book: the book that particular person needs to read/feels drawn to read at the time in question.

(2)That was a person who folded page corners.

* * *

The Librarian followed the footprints in the dust the next morning. He didn't know who the intruder was, but he was going to find out. When he saw the old man shuffling around in his slippers, clutching a book and looking bewildered, he shook his head.

"Ook."

"Oh, hello. I don't suppose you know where I could find the librarian, do you?"

"Ook." The Librarian began to lead Mr. Roberts towards the entrance to the library.

"Really? Then you know all about L-space, then. I went and wandered out of my world, didn't I?" The Librarian nodded.

"You do have a wonderful library here, you know." Mr. Roberts looked around wistfully. "But I do wish I could go home to my little shop. Impossible, I know."

As they reached the Librarian's desk, he brightened. "This is a university isn't it?"

"Ook. Ook?"

"Complete lack of activity. Lazy things. I don't suppose you need an assistant, do you? I could mend books." He looked the Librarian in the eye. "To be honest, I didn't like selling books. I'd rather keep them. And students rarely use bookmarks. I've heard some use books as _doorstops._"

The Librarian thought for a moment, then nodded. "Ook."

"Thank you. I'm Mr. Roberts, by the way." The newest employee of the Unseen University took his first good look at his new co-worker. "I say, aren't you a mon-"

"Eek!" The Librarian pointed at a plaque a thoughtful wizard(3) had placed on his desk.

"All visitors to this library are encouraged to refrain from calling the Librarian a M-O-N-K-E-Y, as he finds it offensive.

Failure to comply will result in the offender being physically assaulted by the Librarian, and the staff of the Unseen University will accept no responsibility. The Watch, as well as all lawyers in the city, will also not investigate or attempt to punish any act of violence by the Librarian in these circumstances.

Thank you."

"Ah. Of course. Well, where's the first book to repair?"

The Archchancellor was surprised at the latest addition to his staff, but after the Librarian demonstrated graphically what would happen to anyone who was disposed to remove his new assistant, Mr. Roberts was accepted into the University, regardless of being completely unmagical.

Mr. Roberts never got rid of his slippers, and was very happy when for Hogswatch one year he was given a new pair. He only rarely missed his little shop, but the rest of the time was content to mend books and come down heavily on any students who broke the library rules.

The Librarian liked his new assistant, and was slightly protective of him. Librarians had to look after each other. With L-space, you never knew whose library you could end up in.

* * *

(3)Ponder Stibbons, who was getting fed up of people running (or limping) up to him(4) and shouting "the giant monkey attacked me! What are you going to do about it?"

(4)Stibbons was at a loss as to why they came to him, but the simple fact was he was one of the few wizards who used the library regularly, and looked passably like a student(5), who therefore would be in need of something to do.

(5)He looked sufficiently like a student for a person who has just been hit on the head a few times by an angry orangutan, that is.

* * *


End file.
